" Shackles" is a 'must read' book for anyone seeking to understand the devastating and de-humanising consequences of domestic abuse. An incredibly detailed, personal and revealing testament of the daily, weekly and monthly toll of systematic domestic abuse both physical and psychological, with its associated control freakery, and involvement of a whole extended family, it reveals the human toll of a sustained , 34 year long, abuse.
 It charts the whole story, and of the struggle to protect her children, and eventually to escape from the hellish relationship and to rebuild their scarred lives.
It is a powerfull chronicle of resilience, of highs and lows, and ultimately of the triumph of good over supreme adversity .
I commend it for its insight and confidence for a better future.

Dr James Walsh
General Practitioner
West Sussex County Councillor
& Chairman of  Domestic Abuse Working Party, West Sussex
Former Mayor, Littlehampton

TELL IT LIKE IT IS...

This book shows real insight into the mind-set of someone in an abusive situation. People on the outside often ask, "If it's that bad, why don't you leave?" But it's not that easy - in fact that's the hardest decision you'll ever make - to leave an abusive relationship. But it will be the best decision you've ever made! Then you can start learning to live without fear.
This woman tells it like it is but you don't get the impression she just wants to get revenge or point the finger - quite the contrary, she wants to see victims and abusers get help - to break the cycle of abuse that has been going on for far too long. She's right - it's the children who can be so badly affected - and often go on to adult relationships of abuse or become abusers themselves, because it's all they know.
If you want motivation, help or just knowledge of this subject, do yourself a favor and read SHACKLES.

L. Leitch Author

 

Shackles . . . .How amazingly brave

What a heartbreaking read, I am truly humbled by reading Malaika and her families troubled past.
But what a brave lady, she made a decision and stuck to it for the sake of herself and her girls.
She is a true survivor.
This book is an amazing read and gives you an insight into her past.
But well done Malaika for proving that there is life after abuse.

P.S. Hunter & Mrs L.Hunter, Music Producer

 

Shackles, The Color Purple, God and Consciousness                                       

When I finally put this book down while sitting in my car high on a miraculous hilltop over looking the ever moving Hudson river on this gorgeous blue sky day, I stared off into the vastness of the universe as we usually do after having a profound experience.  The very first thing that came to my mind -- was the color purple.  Yes, "The color Purple".

 Ms Cohen, here in her book "Shackles" becomes the embodiment of a transforming flower within the dark side of this ever changing universe.  She opens up and unfolds to us all the delicacies of the tormented soul and its human frailties.  She sends a message so spiritual and literal at the same time that staring off into the universe after finishing it, would be the appropriate result.

"Seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their own innermost being, their true nature. The first recognition of beauty was one of the most significant events in the evolution of human consciousness. The feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition. Without our fully realizing it, flowers would become for us an expression in form of that which is most high, most sacred, and ultimately formless within ourselves. Flowers, more fleeting, more ethereal, and more delicate than the plants out of which they emerged, would become like messengers from another realm, like a bridge between the world of physical forms and the formless. "

  Ms Cohen within the covers of her book (her life) becomes the color purple; her experience in her life - and her daughters Taylor and Grace- lead her (drag her) to spirituality, also despite years of abuse and neglect.

  I have changed my logo on my MySpace page to honor the contents of this book and the touch of grace that it took for Ms. Cohen to bring herself to write this much needed document to the drastic effects of psychological abuse and the ability of the human spirit to rise up out of the ashes of degradation. 

 by Nelson Mc Cutchen, New York/US

 

Shackles is a must read especially for those who may yet be trapped within domestic violence. It is a great eye opener for those who may need to be made aware of the continual existence of domestic violence all around the world.

The author, Malaika Cohen, poured out her heart and soul in this book. She shared truth about domestic violence from a personal perspective. Malaika has experienced the physical pain, emotional pain, and psychological pain of domestic violence. She shares how such pain has affected even her beautiful daughters whom she loves very much. And now, after such a long life of suffering, Malaika is stepping out and exposing the demons of domestic violence in hopes of saving someone else who may yet be in bondage.

 As I read through the book I noticed how Malaika felt fear and simultaneously longed for genuine love. She wanted to leave the men who used and abused her but she was either convinced that somehow they loved her or she could not survive without them. Malaika admitted that she did not know God personally but because of the pain in her life she prayed to Him anyway. She needed outside strength that could help her get out of the dying cycle in which she was in. It has been a long journey for Malaika and her lovely daughters but one worth enduring.                    

 Shackles' isn't about hopelessness - it is about hope, strength through struggle, endurance, and faith. Malaika is one strong voice in the wilderness crying out for change. And through her book she endeavors to break the shackles of countless others trapped in domestic violence. I employ you to lend her your ears and your heart and let's help change the atmosphere all around the world. Together, with God's help, we can make a difference.

David Hazer

Minister, Author, Artist

 

The Webster's New World Dictionary defines shackles as:

·       a metal fastening, usually one of a linked pair, for the wrist or ankle of a prisoner; fetter; manacle

·       anything that restrains freedom of expression or action the shackles of ignorance

  

These two words used created a powerful metaphor in my mind as I poured over the details in this eye-opening story. Malaika Cohen's account of her escape from the restraints of her freedom, due to physical and emotional abuse, draws the reader into a life that many, like me, imagined only existed in the movies. As one who has never experienced abuse nor been close enough to anyone who has, I have truly been humbled and enlightened about the reality and severity of this inhumane and crippling act. It seems as though it much easier to tell someone what to do, how to fix their problems, but unless you've experienced the same events you don't realize just how difficult it can be. That does not mean, however, that one can't be free from bondage as Malaika bravely shares through her own victory.

Although science has never been my strong suit I do recall some of the properties of metal. The important one here is that when heat is applied it expands. I visualize the horrid events of this mother's experiences as the stifling heat which caused further constriction/restraint of her blood flow (represented as her freedom) and cut off the circulation of her self-esteem and will to fight. The tighter the grip of the human (acting as metal) shackles, the deeper her wounds became cutting to the inner core of her mind and heart. As with flesh wounds when left untreated, infection can set in and cause other areas to be infected as well. This is what I could "see" portrayed in Shackles. Things quickly went beyond surface wounds and became incredibly difficult to heal.

 An outsiders' argument is that one in an abusive home should first think of the kids, if any are present. Well, in reading Shackles I was exposed to the battle between Malaika's love for her children and her admitted addiction for the need of acceptance (so many of us have that same need although at different levels even if it does not take us to abusive relationships) and resulting dependency. She painfully records the times she was ready to run (and at times did, but ended up back until her final breakthrough), but feared the result of leaving a child behind if she left in that instant without a plan or the kids being taken away if she sought medical attention-with no one suitable behind to watch them. Her desperation many times caused her to stay seeing the life they had as better than being homeless and lost in a foreign place. Her ultimate realization and courage caused her to know that her desperation had to be channelled in a different way. She was experiencing a slow death here on earth and despite how difficult things would be on her she was determined to choose the struggle of life, for her and for the children she dearly loved, instead of her struggle in death.

 Amazingly, the end of her captivity and beginning of freedom does not result in bitterness. Malaika has found a healing that allows her to have compassion for the illness that abusers have. She is no longer bound to the power of the abuser-those chains are gone- on the contrary she seeks to empower them to seek self-awareness and healing, realizing the damage they cause not only to those around them, but even themselves. She also works to empower the abused so that they seek within to find the reasons they choose to stay in these situations. She shared she found an alternate in her thesaurus for victim is "loser." On the other hand, survivor is defined as "one who continues to live in spite of danger or hardship." For that reason, she desires those who have escaped to see themselves not as abuse victims, but abuse SURVIVORS! Through Shackles I am aware of how frightened and lonely one feels when they are confined to the grips of abuse that can weaken any sense of self-esteem that may exist. There are so many quotes throughout the book I wish I could share, but I've chosen a few that highlight Malaika's victory in choosing life! It's an ongoing process that started with, as she stated,

     "Understanding who I was and why I behaved the way I did."

 

     "My final goodbye was in learning freedom only comes when you can let go and have no regrets. I will never regret loving him because it was sincere…I finally felt good about myself. I was free from the chains (Shackles) of abuse."

 

    "…I am still standing and I declare there is life after abuse. It is not easy to break away and make a fresh start, but it is worth every ounce of effort."

 

    "…Counselling enabled me to make the first steps to live my own life, but how I chose to walk each day had to be my own decision."

 

 Thank you, Malaika, for having the courage to live and now for helping others to develop in that same courage!

Angela Broussant, Georgia / US

 

Dear Reader

On Tuesday, 19 February 2008, my husband, Councilor Graham Tyler, and I, attended the book launch of Malaika Cohen's "Shackles - Overcoming Domestic Abuse" - book launch. 

 

Meeting Malaika and her children was a privilege and her courage to speak out and raise awareness of domestic violence can only help with the publicity blitz that this taboo crime needs. So many women and men suffer in silence; such a horrific situation should not be happening. Domestic violence is not acceptable and Mailaika has stood tall in reclaiming her life and that of her children. There are now specialist courts for domestic violence and offenders must be brought to justice. Hopefully Malaika's book will encourage other victims to come forward and live their lives in safety and happiness as Malaika now does.  There is help out there - do not let this crime be dealt with behind closed doors, read Malaika's book and be amazed by her emotional ride - we were.

 Mrs Diane Tyler

Have you ever been abused or knew someone who was?  Even if you haven't, you need to read this book! All genders should read this book! This story will touch all your emotions!  Malaika is a woman who displays unimaginable strength and courage to survive insurmountable abuse and disappointment by those whom she trusted and loved the most in her life.  She endured years of childhood abuse then escaped to a life she hoped would be filled with love and happiness and found herself trapped in a marriage of domestic abuse with two young daughters to care for and a second relationship where she and her daughters endured even more horrible abuse together…how much can the human spirit take……a lot when you have God on your side. Malaika's faith in God gave her the courage to survive and to even forgive her abusers. Her story of survival will touch your heart and will inspire others to escape the clutches and shackles of domestic violence. She has proven that the human spirit is still alive in all of us. Bravo to this young woman for having the courage to survive and to share her incredible story with the world!  

Rozetta Mowery, Author

"Tragedy in Tin Can Holler"